so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize