Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
