ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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