i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
