how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
