Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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