new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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