So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
