for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We got so high we made milksteak
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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