I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
