i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
