He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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