Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
