Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
