Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
