When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
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I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
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we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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