It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You took a bar mat shot.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
