If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
