Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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