Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
