I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
