I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
