you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
They left me at home... I'm a liability
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
