Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
