WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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