we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
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My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
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Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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