I seem to have left my pride at pride
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
