what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
