He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think I won the penis lottery.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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