He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
