Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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