paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
