Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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