You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
