i think i have two assholes
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
