No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
