How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
