Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
