Swine flu. Run for my life!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize