So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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