brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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