I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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