Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
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I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
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I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize