This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
