508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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