I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
