the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
