idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
