Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
