i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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