Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just puked most of my soul out..
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize