There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
