Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
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you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
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I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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