We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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