I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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