yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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