I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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