I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
