Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
