you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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