Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
