I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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