Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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