So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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