i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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