i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
