I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize