Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
