is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Randomize
