I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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