I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
