u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
where are you?
Hypothermia
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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