A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
