it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
is this the sara with the beer cane?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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